You do you…

Acceptance finally entered my heart yesterday. It was a bittersweet moment and, yet, it brought peace to my agitated soul. With an elderly parent who is losing cognitive ability, it’s so easy to want to correct them. This is especially true if your parent was a perfectionist and you, in turn, are a perfectionist. Life is not perfect.

I found myself wrapped in a sweet moment yesterday that served as a lesson. It told me to rethink my expectations as my guidelines no longer fit the situation. I was seated with my mom, on a comfy sofa, in the common living room area of her assisted living facility. She was reading me an article from the New York Times. I don’t know why nor do I know her purpose but it was important to her at the moment. Instead of asking her questions, I settled directly next to her and listened.

As she read, occasionally pointing at a picture within the article, things made sense to me and I knew I needed to just let her do what she felt was important. In that moment, her need was to share those words with me. Mind you, she reads the paper without glasses. With my newfound acceptance of letting “her do her,” I relaxed next to her and let my head rest on her shoulder.

Without missing a beat, her hand reached up and cupped the side of my face. My soul was content. She stopped reading long enough to exclaim about the softness of my skin as she patted my face. I chuckled and reminded her of the many times she’s told me that since I was little. Looking directly into my eyes, she smiled and said, “you’ll always be my baby girl.”

“You were my strength when I was weak/You were my voice when I couldn’t speak/You were my eyes when I couldn’t see/You saw the best that was in me.” Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion