I visited my mom yesterday at the memory care facility where she lives. Most weeks I’m able to see her twice a week. Her concept of time is nebulous at best. She’s happy to see me whenever I show up and I’m grateful she still remembers my name.
I try to bring whichever junk journal I’m working on so she can look through it. We often chuckle at the fact I’m making such things because arts & crafts was something I avoided like the plague.
When I began making these last summer, I had great ideas to make stuff and sell them at craft fairs. The reality hit me quickly that I don’t have the stamina to set up and take down a booth by myself, let alone lug my projects around. So, at the present time, I am gifting them. I gifted two this past week and it was so joyful.
Some of you know I have macular edema in both eyes. It does result from diabetes and is associated with pressure in my eyes. This morning I woke up with an ache in my left eye and briefly thought, “my eye has a headache.” Driving home from an errand, the pain disappeared and a splotch appeared in the field of vision. It kind of looks like you’re looking through a sparse piece of lace. I know now that it’s a sort of reflection of bleeding in the back of my eye.
Thankfully I have an appointment with my retina specialist on Monday for an injection in my other eye. I just had an injection in my left eye two weeks ago. At that time my eye pressures were normal and things looked good.
Though I’ve been dealing with this for well over a year, it remains unsettling. All things considered, I handle it pretty well. Don’t forget I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder over forty years ago. Something like this throws my whole system sideways. I’m not going to attempt to explain.
I don’t have anything insightful to offer today, just needed to get those words out of my system. It’s difficult when your two main support people disappear from those roles. Am I a strong individual? Stronger than many of you will ever know. Is my strength finite? Likely. I don’t look forward to that moment of revelation. For now, I’ll place one foot in front of the other, though no other footprints are beside me. I’ve navigated life’s shoals for many years like this.
Thanks for listening and never forget there are those among us dealing with all sorts of stuff. Think kind thoughts for them and offer a prayer if you’re so inclined.
Stories Are For Eternity 